Part Three of the Fatherhood PLAN: Available

Being there and being available for your children is a very valuable attribute to the Fatherhood PLAN. Availability shows your child you are interested in their lives and value them because that is where you choose to spend your time and attention. This in turn will cause a child to feel loved, safe and secure, heard and appreciated. I know its not always an easy task to be available all the time. Life tends to get in the way at times. We have jobs and have deadlines, stresses and burdens that children do not fully comprehend when they are young. This is unquestionably a hard act to balance and we will address priorities and time management in future articles but what I want to address in this portion is more about small moments when we are with our children and having meaningful quality time together.

“Dad, Dad, Dad” comes to my ears about 100 times a day from my 8 year old, wanting to explain something to me when my attention may be somewhere else. He usually wants to show me a playback on his football video game or tell me a joke that he heard from school. I sometimes have my nose buried into a phone or computer, but I have to make myself give him my full attention he deserves when he asks for it. One day and when he was younger he taught me a valuable lesson. That day, he had something to tell me that was important to him and I wasn’t paying attention very well and was distracted by something on my phone. I kept giving him halfhearted answers and not looking at him. He climbed up in my lap, took my head and turned it towards him to look in his eyes. Very seriously he said, “Dad, you need to listen to me”. I knew he was right, and I promised myself that day I would give my kids the attention they deserve, I’m still not perfect at it at all times but that lesson he taught me resurfaces when I know I’m not listening to them like they need me to.

These are the moments, we need to take into careful consideration. If I would not have acknowledged him after that moment imagine how he would of felt. Our kids want our attention. They need it and need us to show interest in what they have to say. If they know when there young that they can come to us about anything, then when there older and have more in-depth life concerns and problems they will feel comfortable coming to us and know that you actually care. This is what being a Dad is about.

I have told myself that if my kids ever need help with anything or need to talk, I’m going to make sure I am available for them as long as there is breath in my lungs. At 43 years of age, I sometimes wish I had been a better father at 23. But Fathers, our kids need us! Distractions are everywhere, but we have to be careful that they don’t take away from the availability of our time from what is truly important. Start today to consciously make yourself give your full attention to your family.